My Philosophy On Life

 Many people go through life with a reason to be here, and they know what they are meant to be. Some are meant to be Doctors and help heal the sick. Some are Preachers to lead people to God, and then there are people like me that really have no clue what their purpose is. So they just have to make the best of how their lives have turned out.
 After much thought on the subject, I have come to the conclusion that I am here on earth to build up other people and make them feel good about themselves. I mean if we looked the same and acted the same, life here would be pretty boring.
 I have noticed that I am different and my differences instead of having a negative influence , can actually be positive. Hang on and get ready cause here we go.... I am gonna explain my theory on why I am the way I am!
1.Obese-  I am fat so the skinny people can look skinny.  I once told someone that I had a instant weight loss diet guaranteed to work instantly. I told her she did not have to watch her diet or even exercise.  My simple was simple. I informed her when she got ready to leave. Just let me know and I would walk out beside her...Instantly she would look much slimmer due to my excessive overweightness.  Now how many people would sacrifice their body for the good of others...
2. Intelligence- If we were all geniuses, then think how messed up the world would be. I mean when we would apply for jobs, there would be no criteria to distinguish one apart from the other. God realized this too, so he put people like me on earth. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, and since I am not, I make the sharp ones really stand out. I mean it takes all kinds don't it.
3. Beauty- If we all were drop dead gorgeous, think how messed up the would would be.There would be no difference in our looks and it would be much harder to single out and stereo type people out. So enter me in the picture. People like me are here to help those pretty people out. The darker the circles under my eyes, and the worse my hair looks, the better all the beauty queens look and even feel about themselves... Are you starting to see things in my point of view now?
4. Cleanliness- I am the type person that when you come to my home, you immediately feel better about yours. Now I am not living in total filth, but I do have dust on my furniture and clutter on my counters. By doing this I make other home look so much cleaner. When I get to feeling really bad about the cleanliness of my home. I turn on the tv and watch a episode of hoarders, and walla , I feel better about my home! 
 So with some of my theories I hope you get some understanding on why I am the way I am.
5. Discipline- My kids are always saying I am mean and to strict on them. I tell them that is correct, I am mean. I then tell them that I am helping all the other parents out by making them look  nice. I tell my kids that I hate to have to use them to help the "good parents" , but someone has to do it and I just feel like it is my place to help them...... I guess I am just a 'Helper".
6. Success- Now this one I wish I were not so good at. I am poor and unsuccessful so the successful people will look like just that... Now I really don't like helping with this particular situation. I would like to have a good paying job and more money to do things like vacations and such, but being the "helper" I am , I have to help the rich and successful out too. Maybe one day they will notice my good deeds and I will be rewarded for them.


 So there you have it, Life according to Lana. I guess how you look at things that are thrown your way determines if you are a helper or one of the ones being helped. Next time you see me don't bother to thank me for helping, you would only ruin my image!  
  

God Put You In Places For A Reason

 I am working at Annie Ruby's Cafe in Burkesville . I have been there since Aug 3rd. It is a different kind of job than I was use to, you know processing chickens and all. It is a pretty good job because I get to see many people I have not seen in years and interact with them . I did not get to do that much at the chicken plant. I am the type person that loves to be around people and talk to them. I don't think I have ever met a stranger. I don't know it that is a good quality or not. I just think when you are a waiter , you need to treat people like you would like to be treated when you are out at a restaurant.
 I have met people that are my family , I have met famous people, and I have met people that went to school with my dad, or knew my grandmother because their mother use to go to her beauty shop.
 Last week I met 3 people there. They came in I think on a Thursday , Aug 9th. I knew all three. One was Susie Smith, the other two were Shelia, and Myles Willis, Susie's daughter and grandson. I have to admit, I had never spoken to Myles before he came to the Cafe that day, but I did know him and know that he was in my son Levi's class. I did however know Susie and Shelia. They came in and sat at the bar and ordered some Ice cream Sundays, and I think Myles had a grilled cheese. While I was making their treats, I talked with them and joked with Myles to try to get him to tell me some dirt on Levi and how he acts at school. I fell in love with that little guy, and did not know how sharp he really was. I guess I thought because he used a walker before, that he did not talk much or something, but I found out different that day. The 4 of us talked and laughed and even cried at one point when I told Susie of some old video I had found of Shelly, her daughter that had passed away , a few months ago. Shelly and I were always friends and she worked at the health dept, and informed me of the results of my Pregnancy test when I got pregnant with Levi.
 Susie cried when I spoke of the video and offered to by it. I told her no way would I sell it to her, that I would make her a copy for free. After everyone had their fill of treats, the three left and let us know how much fun they had and how good the food was.
 On  Wednesday, September 15, I was working at the Cafe when I heard the ambulance go by. Not long after that I heard another. They stayed gone for quite sometime, but then both came back in full siren mode. What I found out later that day shocked me to the point of tears. Sheila had been found dead. I immediately thought of Myles and Susie. How could this be? They were all just sitting right of front of me last week.  How could my new little friend, Myles be facing such a loss? How would Susie make it through? She was still grieving the death of her first daughter. How could this be happening?
 Today is Friday, Aug 17th. I went to the funeral home to pay my respects. I walked in the door and the door and saw  Susie, Myles and some friends, and there was Shelia. Myles spotted me and said Levi's mom. Susie immediately started talking of the good time the 4 of us had in the Cafe the previous week. It was good to be able to be a part of one of the last memories and fun times that the two of them had with Shelia. Myles is a tough little guy. He was sitting there in a chair by his mom, who lay beside him in a casket. He was greeting and talking to people just like an adult. He was very strong! 
 I sit here now and I think about people, and how God puts you in places at certain times. We are all here for reasons , some far more important than others, but in the end for reasons.
 I am thankful for the time I had with those 3 that day, and that I was a little part of a fun time had by all. My prayers go up for Susie, Myles and all the other family members involved in this tragedy. 
 R.I.P Shelia Willis! You will be missed!  

The Good Ole Days

You know I don't think children today have the same positive influences that we had when we were kids. I can remember staying with my grandparents, Nanny and Tip ,  as much as I possibly could. I remember not having all the things kids have today to keep me entertained while I was at their house.
 I would lay on my belly on the floor, hands propping my head up and my knees bent with a small foot stool balanced on them as I watched TV shows with them. Tip always watched Gunsmoke, and Wheel of Fortune. Nanny always watched Murder She Wrote and Gunsmoke too. We would watch those shows together and try to solve the latest mystery, or solve the latest puzzle on wheel of fortune. It was simple entertainment, but it was fun to me. Our supper would consist of Total cereal almost every night. On occasion, I remember Tip making breaded oysters. He and Nanny would crush up cracker , dip the oysters in egg and roll them in the crackers to make a very tasty meal. You could smell the aroma throughout the house just as soon as the grease started getting hot and the first oyster hit the frying pan.
 Spending so much time with them I learned that two people can love each other and stay together for 50+ years. What role models they were. Never harsh words to one another, and always helping each other out.
 Tip would always call me "little one" or "Boy" . What I wouldn't give to hear him say those words to me again. I spent many a days out in his old workshop as the sound of the drill sander played in the background. Tip refinished furniture for people . Customers would stop by during the day to pick up furniture, or to leave the latest worn heirloom to be restored to it's former state. I wanted to go with him everywhere he went. When he would go to Brown's supply for materials to restore the furniture, I was in the truck with him. I followed him every step he took, careful not to disturb him. I knew if I did , I would not get to go with him, and that would be sad for me. 
 I would also spend time in my grandmas beauty shop. It was located in a room on the back of the house. It was so fun there. Most of the customers had a certain day, and a certain time they would always come. Fannie Lewis at 10 am on wed. Gracie Long at 4:00 on fridays, and many more throughout the week. I always looked forward to seeing the customers, although I am sure I got on their nerves skating through the beauty shop on my skates and then back to the kitchen , and then back and forth, back and forth. Some customers would bring me things,and Fannie Lewis always brought me a dollar bill. Man was that great. She would even leave the dollar bill for me if I were not there that day. How special was that.
 I wish my kids had the people in their lives that I had in mine when I were young. I feel so sad that they miss out on the simple things that grandparents can give to you.
 All I can do now is give them a positive experience and hopefully make some good memories to take with them when I am no longer on this earth.

 As for Nanny and Granddaddy, I miss them more than words could ever express. I know I think of them everyday. Every time I see wheel of fortune, or gunsmoke, or many other things that only were shared by us at their house. If you have Grandkids that love to spend time with you , enjoy every moment with them , because you are making memories , memories that as they become adults will be "The Good Ole Days".

Our fishing trip on the Cumberland River. All fish were safe that day....

I Get The Big Head

 You know our kids are our pride and joy. We are always bragging on them for everything they do. We also want our kids to be the best at everything. I wonder why? Do we want the sole satisfaction of have the number one kid, or do we want them to have all the glory and be that STAR??
  I have to say that my children are average when it comes to super star status , Mary Alex my oldest is really not that good at sports, but she's o.k with that. She just takes it in stride and doesn't get upset if she loses. She just loves to socialize and participate. When I was growing up I was quite the Tom Boy, and was pretty good at basketball and baseball. I always thought my children would be the same because I loved sports and so does my husband Nelson. I never dreamed I would have a child that does not like basketball and want to play every minute of the day like I did. Did they give me the wrong kid at the Hospital or what?? She was born at Cumberland County Hospital , and security back in 95, was not that tight..lol. Oh well we have had her for 14 years now , and I think we will just keep her. I'm kinda getting use to her being around now.  I am very proud of her because she is an excellent singer. Some say she should be on American Idol. I think she has the natural talent ,but that will have to be something she chooses to do further down the road.
 I have to admit when she sang the National Anthem at the Jr. Beta convention, it was definitely a Head Swelling moment for me. I looked up on that stage and was mesmerized by her singing talent. I could not believe the young woman she had grown into , and how proud she was making me at that moment. I really wanted to cry, but I was filming and didn't want to get snot on the video camera I had borrowed. My daughter does have her priorities pretty straight, and I like that. She loves the Lord and her Church and understands the importance of being a Christian, and staying faithful to her beliefs, and that to me is far more important than any sport accomplishment that she could ever make.

 Levi on the other hand is another story. Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart , but he is a challenging kid to raise. I became pregnant with Levi while on birth control pills, and I didn't miss any either. When I became pregnant with him , everyone said I got that way for a reason, that God had a plan for him or I would not have became pregnant while on birth control. I now think more and more everyday , those people knew what they were talking about. Levi is a very good kid, he really struggles with his temper, but he is getting a little better. He is also very hard on himself, He feels he must be the best at everything he does and gets very upset with himself when he is not. He cannot take constructive criticism, and will argue about anything. If he really gave 100% at the sports he does , he would be the best, but his lack of confidence is a road block to him that he cant figure out how to get around. He has natural talent, but is lacking the drive necessary to push beyond limits. He excels in school , but to hear him talk, he cant do anything. This is a challenge for a parent, because we try to be encouraging and build his self esteem , but he rejects our efforts. Maybe as he grows older it will come, but I say that every year.
 Back to the purpose part. Levi does excel in one area , and I could not be any prouder of him if he hit the winning home run at the LLWS. Levi participates at Church and excels in his classroom studies. He has his priorities straight and in place. A few weeks ago , we were having a bible study for the kids at one of the homes of the other members. It was also senior night at the basketball game, I wanted to go to the game, because I knew several seniors and wanted to see them, but Levi wanted to go to the Bible study and did just that. I kind of felt bad because I went to the game, but I was so proud of him for wanting to go to the Bible Study.
 The first time he got up at Church and led singing, my head swelled so big it's a wonder I made it out the door. To me that is a home run every time he leads. I want to bring my video camera and record everything he does at Church, like people do other ground breaking moments in their children's lives, but I don't think it is appropriate.  Last Sunday , he was asked to do the scripture reading before the lesson , and he said yes.
 There I sat , my little man walking up to that Pull Pit. I thought about his grandparents that were no longer with us and how proud they would be of him. I wanted to cry and clap all at the same time, but I knew that would not go over to well either , so I just sat there holding back the tears and watching my little boy. I began to think about how many times people told me he was here for a reason, and I think I am beginning to understand that reason.
 Levi made his way up front, grabbed that mic, and turned it on. He could barley see over , but he said in his loud deep voice; Good Morning Everyone! With joy and confidence. He seemed to be right at home speaking in front of everyone. He called out his verse he was going to read and recited it loud and clear, said thank you and went back to his seat.
 I was the proudest mom in the world at that moment, my emotions were wanting to jump out of my chest, but I had to sit there calmly and watch and the thoughts that ran through my mind were of my kids and how they make me so proud. I don't care if they don't make the first team, the winning shot or the home run. As long as they keep their love for God I know they will succeed in life , and thats the satisfaction every parent dreams of for their children to be successful in life.

 When our children have a love for God and their Church, they have to endure much like the characters we read about in the Bible. They get laughed at , called nerds and other names. Kids are very cruel and like to bully the one's that are not into everything they are. They face obstacles  thrown at them every day by the devil, such as ridicule by other children and bullying. I just hope they stay strong and remember their purpose on earth, and know that if they live a life for God, they will have a place in Heaven and it will be far more rewarding than anything they could accomplish here on earth.
  

My How Time Fly's

 You know when you are a kid, everything seems so unimportant. Take for example the value of a dollar. When you are a kid your concept of money is , " If  I want it I just ask my parents and they go get it for me."  If they ask and you tell them you don't have the money, they say ," just go get it out of the ATM." They really don't understand that you have to have money in there to get it out. I guess as parents we always want our kids to have it all. We buy them something and no sooner than they get it out of the sack, they are asking for the next item. They play with the new item for a day or so and then it is forgotten about.
 I think one thing I did wrong with my kids is getting them most everything they wanted. I always thought I would be a bad parent if I didn't get them everything they wanted. I want them to have the clothes that are in style and the latest gadgets and video games, but as I grow older , I realize I had the wrong concept of parenting and buying.
 I should have been teaching them that they needed to earn their money by doing chores. I should have been teaching them , it doesn't matter if you get the latest greatest game system, the one you have is fine. I should have been making them earn money and spending their money, but I didn't , so where does that leave me now??
 The answer is , I don't know. I don't think I can just all the sudden switch gears and change everything, maybe I need to do it gradually. I do know I need to change the way I handle finances, epically since I am unemployed.
 I guess I am going to work on teaching more responsibility , more discipline and more respect for others and parents. I know it is easy said, but can it be done. I guess it is what we call "tough love" but sometimes we have to suck it up and be the parent not the friend and the BANK!

I'm A Sucker For A Good Deal

A shopping addiction, better known as compulsive shopping or compulsive buying disorder, is believed to affect the lives of as many as 6% of the US population, according to a 2006 study out of Stanford University. That study also found that although the compulsion is frequently associated with women, shopping addiction appears to affect women and men almost equally.
Those suffering from a compulsive buying disorder can seek shopping addiction treatment from a Treatment Center, therapist or psychologist, despite the lack of a quantified, well-defined diagnosis, since the underlying issues are indeed psychological. 


I acquired  those statistics from  MyAddiction.com.   
You know I am a sucker for a good deal. I think I have some kind of disease. I love to shop. I could shop all day and not buy anything. Often when I go I look at things and think about people that would love to have certain items. I guess you can say I am a person who loves to give rather than receive. I also don't like giving full price for anything. I search endlessly until I find a coupon or a good bargain on what I am looking for.
 When I am wanting to buy something  I always use two web sites that I use to help me on my quest . These websites search the web each day to see who has put an item on sale at a knockout price. I check these sites out several times throughout  the day, because they keep adding items all day.
 The first one is Deals Of America and the second is DealCatcher. Just go to google and type those in. You wont be sorry, epically if you do alot of shopping on line. Each site has a search engine on them to look up a specific item you may want.
 So go ahead and check these out !  Your gonna love them!

Somethings A Little To Strange Here.

James Walter Reeder

• Levi is the #416 most common male first name
• 0.025% of males in the US are named Levi
• Around 30625 US males are named Levi

 That statistic came from the Name Statistics website. Its a pretty cool site, My name is the 470 most common female name.  Have you ever wondered why you were named what you are named? I know people name their kids after famous people, best friends , or family members. Some people just want to make up a name that they know no one else has. Let me tell you a little story , and this story is true. After you read this story, see if you think Something is a little strange here.

 All my life growing up , I said if I had a son, I would name him Levi. I don't know why I liked the name so much, but I did. In 1998, I had a son and fulfilled my dream of having a son named Levi. Now this story kind of goes back in time to some events that made me wonder was my sons name a dream of mine or destiny?

 My grandmother was Mary Ruth Ferguson, she had a brother named James Walter Reeder. James was in WWII. I never knew James, but he was a hero. He was a hero in my eyes because of the story that was always told to me about how he died. Although he was in the war, and died while serving his Country, he did not die in combat. Walter was swimming with some friends in the Ocean one day when one of his buddies got in trouble and started to drown. Walter went out and saved his friend, but drowned while doing so. Now I bet you are thinking, what does that have to do with your son. 

 Every year I would take my Grandmother to the cemetery on Memorial Day to put flowers on her Father and Mother's grave. We would put flowers on Walters grave too. or sometimes an American Flag. His marker had his name,James Walter Reeder on it and a photo of him in his uniform. He was a very handsome man. On one occasion while placing flowers, I noticed something. I was born on Walters birthday, August 20th.  It made me very proud to know that I was born on that special day. 

 The plot thickens, as it does in most stories. I am left handed. I am the only person in my family on both my mother and fathers side that is so, or at least thats what I thought. While at my grandmothers house one time, we were talking about me being a lefty, and how unusual that was and Nanny, my grandmother said. The only other person I know of in our family that was left handed was Walter. I kind of thought that was cool. The man I had always looked at as a Hero, had a couple of things in common with me. My date of birth and now my hand dominance. 

 Many years after that , family members passed on and time went by and I married and had my children, Mary Alex and Levi. One day I was discussing with a family member about Walter and what he and I shared in common. The family member said do you know what Walters full name was? I replied, James Walter Reeder, thats what on his marker. They then replied, thats not all his name. His entire name was James Walter Levi Reeder. I thought to myself how strange is that. The man that I shared his birthday, shared his hand dominance , had the name I had always vowed to give my son if I ever had one!! Now I bet you are thinking , boy that is a coincidence and your right it is....but the plot thickens again.

 Last year while on Facebook , I noticed that one of my old friends had a son named Levi. Her name was Tiffany Secula. I have known Tiffany all my life and always felt a special bond with her because she was born on my Birthday. Tiffany had moved out of the county . I knew she had children , but I did not know their names.  So we really had a lot in common. Are you seeing a pattern here?? Anyway back to Facebook. When I noticed Tiffany's son's name, I wrote her to say that I didn't know that was her son's name and that we had three things in common, and we all  know the three. Tiffany replied back to me and said "well that make three women in the county with birthdays on August 20th that have son's named Levi." I said I know me and I know you but who is the other? She said Phil Leaks daughter and called her name. Tiffany said she was born on our birthday and named her son Levi. 

 Thats my story , odd as it seems. My question to you is , is this coincidence or something far more than that???   You be the judge!

Just in Case You Were Wondering What Happened....

The Hatchet Day 2-2-2010

2-24-2010

The manufacturing sector accounted for 34 percent of all mass layoff events and

38 percent of initial claims filed in January 2010. A year earlier, manufac-

turing made up 38 percent of events and 44 percent of initial claims. Within

manufacturing, the number of claimants in January was greatest in transporta-

tion equipment, followed by food, fabricated metal products, and machinery.

Eighteen of the 21 manufacturing subsectors experienced over-the-year decreases

in initial claims, led by transportation equipment

That was the from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, now this is how all that impacted my Life.

February 2nd 2010- I do have to say that this was one of the most traumatic events in my life that changed it forever. It also opened my eyes to how cruel people can really be. You think you know people and then you find out you don't.

I have worked in a poultry plant for the past 11+ years. Now don't get me wrong, when I was in school I didn't sit around in class all day and dream of processing chickens. Actually I sat in class and dreamed of being in law enforcement , or criminal justice, but as you all know things don't turn out like you think they will in your life.

In Oct, of 1998, I started work at the local poultry processing plant as a product wash person, what that means is I would wash off the product when it hit the floor with chlorinated water so it could be safe to be consumed. I did that for about 6 months and was lucky enough to move into a line lead position. I set my goal on management , because that is what I wanted to be.In 6 months after being a lead, I was promoted to a management position. The work was hard , the environment was very cold , and the stress level was very high. As a manager it was hard to get people to work and to buy into the ideal that they could cut chicken at a fast pace and do this for a living. Most did not last a month, and many would never come back after the first day. As the years passed, though the plant did start to keep people and improve on its processes. I like to think that I had a role in the success of the company. I worked 9 to 10 hour days, and Saturdays when required or asked. Our plant went from being one of the least productive in 1998 to one of the top in 2009. We went through many changes to reach this goal, changes in equipment, changes in processing procedures and at times changes in Management.

I loved my job and if I had a complaint , I never voiced it to anyone other than my family or close friends. I am a firm believer in being a role model at work and outside of work also. I have a hard time when I see managers in a key position, doing things outside of work that make them look so unprofessional. I think you have to maintain your image both in and out or people will not respect you. If I were out in the community and people were bad mouthing the plant or the minority of people that were employed there , I would defend both my plant and my fellow employees. I often would miss many events that my children were involved in to be at work, because I valued my job.There were some years that I did miss quite more work than I wanted, but it was due to people that I loved having terminal cancer and I was a primary caretaker. I always did my job by the book and tried very hard not to show favoritism. I always said I would write up my mother if she worked there and broke a rule. She would be no different than anyone else while at work and I really would . Many did not like me and said I was mean, and there were many that did like me because I was strictly by the book. That way they were never left wondering what would happen. They knew that if they broke a rule or missed to many days , they would suffer consequences . If you are a good Manager and do your job, people are not going to like you, but you have to know that you are not there to make friends, you are there to run a business a certain way so the business can be successful.

On the week before Feb. 2nd, we were sent a email that all salary and class one employees would have a meeting and everyone had to attend. That would be approx 135 people that would have to cram into a room that seated 35 or so. No one knew what the meeting was about, but we had ideas that it might be to tell us no more bonuses, or insurance changes or something. We all knew that the company had been under heavy pressure to cut cost and be more competitive.

Tuesday Feb. 2 rolled around , I got up out of bed and put on my favorite "life is good" shirt. I have several because I love them. I guess I think if I wear them , my life will be good ...boy was I ever Wrong about THAT. When I arrived at work they told us to meet in the office at 12:25 to see where we would go. They said we would be broke up into groups because we all could not fit in one room. I was in my designated area on time, but noticed that I was the only person on my shift in that area. All the others were from night shift. My shift mgr, looked at us and said I need Lana , and called 4 other names to go to the admin conference room for the first meeting. He told every one else just to sit tight. Me and the others headed out to the room where the meeting was to be held. When we got there , several people were already in there. All the senior staff members were in there also. I still just thought I was going to a regular meeting. Our CEO came in and took the stand. He talked about how far the plant has come in years and how it has made several cut backs to be more competitive. He then said he got word from higher up that more cut backs had to be made to be competitive. He looked at all of us at the table, which was 20 people and said that they were going to cut 20 salary and class 1 jobs , and we were the 20. As of right now you are no longer employed with this company. You can leave your badge on the table and your senior staff will escort you to your office, where you can get your things, or you can come back and get them at another time. He said you are no longer able to log on to your computer . If you have something on there you need , I.T. will retrieve it for you .

I really could not tell you much more about that meeting, I was in total shock as well as everyone else in the room. I could not believe what I had just heard. I could only think of what will I do now? What will I tell my family? I can't believe what I just heard. All the years of hard work and time I had put in for them , and I get this??

My senior staff member escorted me to my office and I started removing my things. I was so hurt, I was crying, as I cleaned out all my memories of the past 11 years. I spent more time at work than I did with my family. I considered my fellow managers as my family. It was not uncommon for us to tell each other "I love you" , when we would leave in the afternoons. I had been with my co-workers through deaths, marriages, divorces, and many other life crises. Now I just had to walk away from all that and that chapter in my life. The tears fell as I removed the memories from by desk and threw them boxes, those boxes are still in the back of my van, I have never brought them in the house, I just keep dreaming that maybe they see they made a mistake, and want me to come back, back to the only thing I knew how to do for the past 11 years, back to my friends I love and have loved for 11 years, back to the job that I loved and had defended for 11 years,, but that call has never came. I now am living a life of memories and loss. I feel like I don't have a place anywhere, I cry all the time, I am crying as I write this. The best way I can describe it is like a death in the family. You have this big empty space inside, and you don't know what to do , It is like something is missing from your life daily , and you cant fix it. You don't want to go out in public, because you think people are staring at you . You know they have heard about you being fired and even though it was due to cut-backs, they still think you had to do something wrong. I kinda feel that way about myself. I wonder what I did wrong, why did they pick me? These questions haunt me daily, and I struggle to find answers. While my senior staff member was escorting me out, I asked "why me?" All he would say is management cutbacks.

So thats my story. I think it was a cold way to fire someone. I think they should have just lined us up against the wall and shot us. That is what I felt like happened anyway. I feel dead. I feel mad. I feel betrayed and lied too. I feel hurt, and I just ask why? I think they could have pulled us in one by one and not had a mass firing. So whatever you have heard on the street about me , and I know you have heard lots, this is what happened. This is how STATISTICS changed my life and made me a statistic, a statistic I did not want to be!

I Have Laptop Leg!!!!!!

Exhibit A -Lana's Laptop Leg!!!

I was getting in the shower the other day and noticed my on my left leg above my knee, there was a odd looking , very large spot. It was reddish in color, but you could see all my veins, and they looked kind of brown. I really didn't think much about it then, but then I noticed it never went away. I started thinking about the possible causes, and realized that it was where my laptop sits when I am on it.

I now have come up with my own condition, and I am going to name it LapTop Leg. I googled laptop leg burn , and found that I am not the oI know you did!!!